Sometimes I write my daily post at the end of the day, a kind of bedtime confessional if you like. Sometimes I do it as I go through the day, adding a bit here and there until I finish it off at the end and then it’s a signal not to eat anything else that day! This paragraph has been written at the end (in a kind of time travel conundrum type way) but the rest throughout the day today as my feelings and foods have varied a bit but I want to chronicle them all to not just end with the positive which is how I’m feeling now. Ok, let’s travel back. Back in time.
I slept badly last night. A combination of my cough and H’s cough meant that my sleep was very broken. As I have identified in my list of reasons why I don’t lose weight, being tired is right up there. The day started off reasonably. In the absence of porridge I had two weetabix with almond milk, warmed up which worked. Doesn’t look like much, but it was warm, stodgy and tasty, which was just what I needed.
I had vague ideas about exercising this morning after dropping the kids at school, but then Lovely Husband was at home feeling unwell, and the kids toys were still all over the floor, and excuses excuses, I didn’t.
Lunch was a bit over the top, trying to make up for being tired – two rolls with vinegar, boiled eggs, a taste of the rice made for LH, prunes, chocolate chips
Then I felt really down because I felt like I hadn’t been very productive and annoyed that the day hadn’t gone as planned. Because either we’ve eaten it or I hadn’t bought much in the first place, there was nothing much to nosh on apart from crackers. So I used the excuse that I needed to buy bread for sandwiches tomorrow to also buy biscuits (oh that reminds me, I must make H’s sandwich for tomorrow still). I was feeling so tired and ate a Dove’s farm chocolate chip flap jack and 3 possibly 4 milk chocolate covered biscuits.
Ok, having written that I’m actually stunned that that was the extent of my tired comfort eating binge. I’ve eaten the entire box of flapjacks and packets of biscuits in the past and although obviously this isn’t ideal, the quantities I eat have so drastically reduced. But I am writing this in hindsight, and at the time I felt really disgusted and disappointed with myself for doing it. I was however able to stay awake and focussed on the drive to and from school and be pleasant to my children. That can’t be bad, can it?
I left the rest of the biscuits in the glove compartment of the car. If they came into the house, I’m not sure I would resist them so well though.
Then I got R&M to put away the toys in the lounge, telling them I wanted to exercise after they were in bed. They wanted to join in, but I wanted them in bed. Then I felt obligated to exercise because they had cleared up and I did day 7 of the 30 Day Body Fitness Challenge app. Oh. My. Word. It was hard.
Pushups, side lunges, crunches, wall sit, plank, decline push ups. Gaaargh!
But I did it. I had had crazy intentions of doing a half hour of Zumba or something too. No chance! But emotionally I feel so much better for doing it. Next time I’m feeling down, will someone kick me in the behind and tell me to go move! Being sedentary is so genuinely depressing.
I then sorted myself out with a good supper of potato, tuna mayo, cheese and pickles.
Definitely a day of ups and downs. I then listened to Le Onde (which means The Waves) which is one of my favourite pieces of music and really reflects my mood and feelings about today.
And all ends well.
Thanks Lovely Readers for all your comments, I really appreciate your support. Knowing that I had committed myself to writing this blog helped me to draw a line and move on.