Breakfast – porridge with almond milkBlack hole in the morning – far too many chocolate biscuits and chocolate rice cakes
Lunch – vegetable soup (onion, carrot, potato, condensed mushroom soup from a tin, curry powder) and pasta
Supper – leftover stir fry from previous day (onion, carrot, courgette, cauliflower, chicken)
Snack – popcorn
So much for plans. R woke up and then threw up. LH still has the flu. M said she also didn’t feel well. I left ill husband with ill children to take H to nursery (1 hour round trip) by which time M decided she actually was fine and so took her to school (another hour round trip). Obviously didn’t go to the exercise class as planned, and I was not the nicest to the ailing men folk at home. I was so cross that my plans didn’t come to fruition. But I’ve already moaned about this to people in real life and it is now the next day and I don’t feel the need to do so any more. But hence the black hole eating that I did in the car. I know it wasn’t the most constructive thing to do, but there you go. I am a very imperfect person.
I also had a very discouraging phone call with an organisation that claims it is there to help people find work. I called for careers advice and job searching help as now that H is in full day nursery, I’d like to reenter the work place. It could be the way I heard it, but the woman I spoke to was really discouraging, telling me “Well you can’t expect to find the perfect job, 10 to 3. You will have to arrange childcare.” And that if I wanted to use their services I to attend two full day seminars first, and “arrange childcare” I had already told her that I had school age children so going for two days, 9.30-4.30 would be really difficult. She didn’t seem to get that this was my family situation but that I still wanted to find work around that. In their website they say that mothers wanting to return to work are some of the type of people they help but clearly that isn’t the case. Unless they only mean mothers of grown up children. Anyway, that was also quite a discouraging thing, when I was already feeling fairly low. Oh and she warned me against missing appointments because of the £200 cost to them of each user of their service, which is why I had to give them a £10 deposit. Really really not encouraging or supportive.
I felt very down about my abilities to achieve my goals.
Sorry Lily if this post isn’t all positive and happy. You don’t have to read them if they bring you down. As I wrote when I started, this blog is really a place for me to record how I’m feeling, eating, exercising and if other people read it and give me encouragement and support too, that would be amazing. But it is primarily me, talking to myself, and keeping track.
Simcha feeling not particularly b’Simcha, but not giving up.
P.s. I’ll end with a semi positive, I still ache in a good way from Sunday’s workout. That’s got to mean it did something to help me get fitter and stronger.
And A and son, well done on doing it too!