Erev Shabbos (Friday)
Breakfast – porridge with almond milk
Lunch – chicken breast and boiled carrots
Snacks – prunes, cake mixture in small quantity
Shabbos : Friday night supper
Very delicious white Challa, chicken soup with onion, carrot, chicken and dumplings, chocolate and prune cake.
Breakfast and Shabbos party
Grape juice, weetabix with almond milk, leftover rice crispies, popcorners, mini chocolates, 2 wafers, cake
Lunch – Challa, chicken, potato kugel, cholent, carrots, no dessert
Afternoon snacks – cake
Shalosh seudos – a Challa roll
Melava malka – two chicken legs, cake, sweetcorn
No excuses but owning up to what I ate. M wanted me to make chocolate cake with sprinkles for Shabbos. She didn’t actually like the cake, it was a bit grown up for her. I did not feel the same.
My methodology
I had a chat with a friend of mine today.
Those who know me in real life will quickly identify who this is, and I have asked her permission before writing about her. She told me (if I understood her correctly) she thinks that I have it all wrong. She thinks I should just be really strict for 6 weeks so that (in her words) I’ll lose big, e.g. 8lbs. I told her that that just doesn’t work for me, I know I can’t live in such a restrictive way for so long. And it would be just a drop in the ocean of what I need to lose anyway. She is very fortunate to be a healthy weight, and although she says thinks she is fat, she really has no idea what it is like to struggle with obesity. I appreciate the well meaning support, but there are some situations where when someone says, “I know what you’re going through”, and they really and truly don’t. Needing to lose 4lbs is not the same as needing to lose 90lbs, and the same methods do not really apply.
I think that if you have only a small amount to lose (e.g. 7-20lbs) in total to a healthy weight, then a really focused short term effort is the way to go. You live a fairly restrictive and miserable couple of weeks or months, but then you can relax a bit but maintain your loss. But I have such a lot to lose, even if I did really focus for say 6 weeks, and lose maybe 7, maybe 10lbs in that time, I’d still have a really long way to go. To maintain that level of focus for so long? 6 months to a year? I just know how much effort and planning goes into losing one measly pound, and life has a way of messing up my plans on a regular basis, that I just don’t think I can do it. I’d love to say, right, from now until 2018, every meal is going to have at least half of it vegetables or fruit, no biscuits or cake, getting enough sleep, exercising at least every other day and actually do it. But it is just too hard. I know I can’t do it.
So I carry on my way, eating junk here and there but slowly slowly changing my lifestyle to be living a healthier life. Educating myself, reducing portion sizes, making food swaps (e.g. This week I removed the skin from the chicken before I cooked it, it is so gross raw), adding activity into my routine where it wasn’t before, celebrating the small victories, not beating myself up over my failures, and ultimately trying to recreate my relationship with food and exercise.
I feel very defensive and down after this chat because I know that partly she is right, I do need to be stricter with myself. This last fortnight, I’d had too many “unusual occasions” where I’ve indulged. Not binged. Not secretly hidden away with masses of food. But situations which a) encouraged me to have small amounts of unhealthy foods and b) prevented me from doing planned exercise. This is progress. This is better than I have done in the past. These small progress steps are what I believe will ultimately get me to a healthy weight, a healthy size, and a healthy self image. But I do need to buckle down a bit more, and I know that. However, I resent someone who doesn’t understand, telling me what to do.
Thank you for allowing me to vent.
It’s ok. You have to do what’s right for you and if you finish this year ten pounds lighter than this time last year then that is what works for you and a positive starter for the year ahead. In addition the incorporation of more physical activity into your life is another huge positive.
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I totally agree with your methods. The idea of doing a complete overhaul of your schedule, your habits (both eating and physical), and your meals sounds great, but putting that into action typically results in you going back to what’s comfortable. Making those small changes really will pay off in the end.
I am struggling myself with my binge eating, but I just try to binge one time less than last week. Every little bit counts. You got this!
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Thanks for the encouragement!
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(Hope that shows up! Not sure if I’m allowed to post images in here.)
You know what? You really don’t have to be any stricter with yourself, Simcha. You are losing weight! If you’re not losing it fast enough for somebody else, that’s their problem, not yours. You go ahead and congratulate yourself on your victories and forget anybody who says you’re not doing it right. It’s results that matter and you are getting results!
Hang in there! We’re with you.
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Thank you. I don’t see any image inn the message. I really appreciate the support.
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I assume your “friend” is not reading your blog. You need a safe place to vent. And we all are reading it to be able to support you on this journey which you have come so far on! And binge-dieting for 6 weeks is not healthy at all! What you are doing is so much better, and you have seen such great results. Keep up the good work and stay positive 🙂
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She does actually read this blog, which is why I did ask her before posting. Thank you for your support, I really do appreciate it.
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I agree! You do you!!!
It sounds like you’re approaching weight loss in a sensible, sustainable way. And to me, that’s key. You’ve gotta do what feels right to you and doesn’t cause you to feel so restricted that you stop & binge later on regaining anything you’ve lost.
Ignore everyone’s advice if it doesn’t mesh with what you know to be true. Keep on doing what you’re doing!
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Thanks Michelle. I couldn’t agree more with what you say about being restrictive and binging. I know myself, and I think you get what I mean too.
Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.
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If you’re so inflexible that you can’t get it wrong, then you’ll never get it right.
An old friend once described something his brother saw at the traffic lights next to East End Road (I think). His brother used to drive a kit car, a Q reg Caterham. Next to him at the lights was a biker on a Honda Senna. A Caterham is a sporty car, but no match for the raw power and acceleration of a Honda Senna. I’m not sure who started it, but somehow, they both ended up revving their engines ready to zoom off when the lights turned green. As it was reported to me, the Honda Senna left him for dust and vanished up the road. He passed it a very short while later embedded in the back of an old Volvo Estate.
And the moral of the story is? In a race between the tortoise and the hare, it’s not always the hare that wins. Loose weight at the speed that gets you to your destination safely.
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In my opinion (which honestly doesn’t mean much to anyone except me and my husband 😉), you are doing the exact right thing.
I have sworn off ALL dieting for the remainder of my life!! I am, however, making lifestyle changes. Permanent changes that I can live with every day. And the great thing about a lifestyle change is that it still allows life to happen. So if I want to go to Starbucks and get a Caramel Macchiato with extra caramel with my husband on a Saturday morning, I will. And I will make adjustments throughout my day to compensate. Or maybe I won’t. But my day will reset the next day and I will no longer beat myself up for living my life.
Keep rocking and keep up the great work!! 💪👍
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Thanks so much! Really great to have the encouragement. And it seems to be really working for you, so your opinion really does mean something!!
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You and you alone knows what works for you and the effort you are putting in to achieve your goal. Keep doing what works for you. Take one step at a time. Just make sure that your steps take you to your goal.
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