Right. I’m owning up.

I have gained again. Quite a bit. Right, let’s not dwell on that shall we? I wonder how much damage I can undo by Wednesday when I officially share my weigh in.

Thursday, Friday, Shabbos I was just really hungry. Probably over tired and compensating with food, also had some unexpected stress which I dealt with by trying to nosh away the low level anxiety I was feeling. My head might have told me this was pointless but I was too tired to listen properly.  Yesterday, (Sunday) my Grandma made a tea. She had catered the event with her usual generosity and it was the kind of event that you had to eat some of everything for her happiness’s sake. Oh and take home leftovers.

The menu was: 

Course 1: bridge rolls, scones with cream and jam, Danish pastries

Course 2: cream cakes, lemon tart, chocolate tart, cheesecake, Apple strudel. Fruit.

I kid you not.  I can highly recommend all of Parkway Bakery’s goods. 

Hi hum diddly dum. Sometimes it just feels like a real uphill struggle. I’m not giving up and I’m carrying on, but I often wish that I could just fast forward to the next two stone off. I’ve been stuck around this weight for a very very long time. It is the weight I managed to get to about 9 years ago after R was born, and then again 2 years ago after H (I’m not sure what happened with M but it was a similar fluctuation probably). I’ve gained and lost the same 2 stone over and over. I want to move onto the next bit. 2 stone lower than where I am now and I would no longer be obese, just overweight. But it is SO HARD. Life gets in the way and there are always other priorities which seem more important in the moment, like Pesach, like Grandma’s tea. And they genuinely are. 

But they set me back in terms of objective progress towards weight loss.

Today I’ve been good again. Calories under 1200kcal. It was a bank holiday today and I prioritised my own sanity and refused a trip to soft play or bowling which would both have been horrible. We had a lovely day at home doing all the activities the children rarely get a chance to actually do, like various craft sets, gardening, using the computer and also Lovely Husband fixed some screening to the new fence so that we now have privacy at last. I made myself the food I wanted to eat, I hydrated myself and I am intending to get an early night. I also had an early night last night which so completely helped today. 

Is there an answer?

Breakfast – 4 weetabix with almond milk

Lunch – sandwich (2 slices wholemeal bread, mayo, Turkey, salad leaves, aubergine and beetroot Shabbos leftovers), an orange

Supper – (eaten before dishing up, a tin of sweetcorn) 3 Turkey Viennas, boiled potatoes, ketchup

Total calories 1201kcal