Has anyone even noticed that I haven’t blogged in nearly a week. Of course this does indicate an off the rails few days. I had children off school unwell on Friday, which was preceded by poor sleep on Thursday as Lovely Husband was out late with them at A&E. Shabbos. Birthday party for M on Sunday. One still having a very difficult time at school, and was sent home early on Monday as a result. Late night electrics problem last night (Monday) which meant a late night and then disturbed sleep from two out of three children. Tuesday was a fast day (17th Tammuz, commemorating the beginning of the description of the Temple in Jerusalem). It’s all been a bit much to also eat properly, and exercise, and generally take care of myself as well as everyone else.
The scales had shown a swift and drastic rise throughout my poor eating prior to today (when I’ve eaten nothing) about 5lbs in less than a week. I was really upset about it. It seems so brutally unfair that I can gain so much weight in so little time, but I can’t lose that much weight in that time.
I’ve been doing a lot of introspection about this whole “trying to lose weight” thing. Is my method the correct one? How can I keep on track over Shabbos? When I’m tired? When everything just seems too much? And I don’t really have any proper answers to share. There are tendrils of ideas that are floating around my head, but they haven’t solidified into something tangible.
- How to take the incredible self control I can exhibit for religious reasons and use it to get this weight off?
- How to prepare and enjoy Shabbos each week without jeopardising the rest of my week?
- How to deal with being sleep deprived when there simply isn’t the option to get more sleep?
- How to deal with changing plans and still eat well?
I don’t know that I have answers. I guess I have to just keep plugging away, plodding on at the times when I can do it.
Today (Wednesday) the scales showed 13st2lbs. This is a gain of a pound since last Wednesday but during this week the scales went up to 13st6lbs. The fast yesterday ended after 10pm and I was so tired that I couldn’t even be bothered to eat then. So I entirely fasted from after supper on Monday to breakfast on Wednesday, about 36 hours. I’m sure that some of the weight loss was dehydration, but I’ll take that!
Today I’ve been back on track. I think that I need to cut out snacking and increase sleep. I’m also trying to cut myself some slack and make sure I’m giving myself down time. It’s less than three weeks until the children are on summer holidays. I’d hoped to have been much lighter by then. It isn’t going to happen. But I can at least be lighter than I am now.