I wrote this over the course of the day, so sorry if it’s a bit long and babbling. Many thanks to Lovely Husband for the title suggestion for today.

Fairly early in the morning

Enough is enough. Being in this “delicate”condition is no excuse for just eating biscuits.

I’ve gained 9lbs already in my first trimester and there is absolutely no good excuse (well maybe Yom tov, and feeling a bit nauseous and exhausted are but not for this amount). I don’t know if it is possible to carry on losing weight but maybe I can stop gaining weight. When I had my booking in appointment with the midwife I asked if I could meet with a dietician to get some guidance and support. However, unfortunately and unsurprisingly that resource had been cut and all they could give me was a leaflet recommending Slimming World. Thanks for nothing.

I don’t really need a dietician, I know what to do. What I do need is support though. And accountability. I need to not be able to get away with eating sour sticks and biscuits (like yesterday), along with my healthy meals. I don’t know how many calories I should be eating, and information online is conflicting. Far too many articles saying, “pregnancy isn’t the time to lose weight”, yes but…. If your BMI is over 35, isn’t there a way to do so? I don’t want to gain all the weight I’ve lost. All the advice is for healthy weight people rather than those of us who are already obese.

I’m going to recommit myself today. I think that if I start by a calorie limit of 1800kcal that would be a good start, although I worry it is still too high but it is still lower I’m sure than what I’ve been eating. So that allows either 3 meals of 500 calories plus 300 of snacks or 4 meals of 400 plus 200 of snacks, or some combination thereof. That is totally enough food to keep me going. I’m hoping to get back to the gym this afternoon also to go swimming.

To be continued…

Later the same day

Hurray for me! I did get to the gym and I’d forgotten how good I feel when I’ve exercised. I swam 24 lengths in 30 minutes, a mixture of front crawl and breaststroke. Some leisurely, some attempting to go as fast as I could (imagining a shark is chasing me is a great visual, however if that were really the case, I wouldn’t stand a chance!). It’s like my head is clearer, and I can breathe more deeply, AND I got to have a shower in the middle of the day which always feels like such a luxury. Supper is prepared at home (writing this while parked near school). I feel a lot more like me again, except the new me that was energetic and ate properly as opposed to the old me that I feel like I was slipping back into but not happily. Does this make sense to anyone apart from me?

Even later the same day

I was so hungry at the children’s supper time but instead of eating rubbish I had salmon and carrots. I’d been logging my food on the myfitnesspal app again and I felt like I went to sabotage myself. Hurray again for me.

Here’s the full rundown of my day’s food:

Breakfast – Porridge with almond milk, an apple and 20g raisins, and cinnamon

Snack – banana

Lunch – tuna and pickle pitta, measured quantity of chocolate ball things

Snack – 35g cashews (what a shocker it was to measure them out again with cakes calculated. Ouch for all the nut eating I’ve done recently)

3 air crackers (I think they are officially called pop cakes)

Half a piece of salmon, 4 carrots

Supper – salmon and boiled carrots

Total 1690kcal food, 255kcal exercise

Success! And as Mummy says, “Success breeds success”.