Did anyone else ever have that fabulous toy, the Bop It? I remember that when you didn’t do very well, it would say, “Do it again, but better!”

The above graph kinda says it all really. Time to face reality. My clothes are all too tight or just plain don’t fit me. I refuse to buy more, even bigger size clothing. When I sit in a chair, I end up encroaching on the person next to me. The photos aren’t lying and an unflattering pose – that is what I look like.

And I don’t like it. One. Little. Bit.

The last year has been hectic with all the moving around, building works, baby, special needs battles etc etc etc. But I’m in my own house now, with my own kitchen. Y is a delightful baby by all accounts. The children are all back school (s) and it’s time for me to buckle down.

R’s bar mitzvah is in a year and a half (parshas Korach 2020, I think that’s 27th June, his actual birthday will be 22nd). I don’t want to be the fat mother. I want to wear something pretty and of my choosing, rather than what I can find that fits. I don’t want to look pregnant when I’m not any more.

I can do this. I’ve done it before (to a point) and I’m not back at square one. Even if my weight is back where I’ve been before, mentally I’m not. I know so much more about myself and about what my triggers are, I have lived with healthier habits and some are still in place.

I’ve considered rejoining Slimming World or trying out Weight Watchers as I would really like to accountability that comes from attending a group but 1) I don’t actually want to follow those programmes and 2) I don’t want to, and will struggle to commit to a weekly commitment. If I’m going to have a weekly anything, a weight loss group isn’t what I’d like to do.

So I’m back on myfitnesspal (slimmingbsimcha anyone on there, feel free to send me a friend request it whatever it’s called). I’m going to try and keep logging my food, reintroducing activity in my life, meal plan and prep, all that jazz that sounds very dull and boring but isn’t as dull and boring as wearing the same clothes for years and giving the same excuses.

I’m going to aim to keep this blog for my random thoughts, “inspirational quotes”, recipes and general streams of consciousness and save the actual food diaries for MFP rather than duplicate.

I’m not doing low carb myself but a dearly loved person is, so anyone want to send me in the direction of very low carb, extremely quick and easy recipes that I’ll actually want to eat also, much appreciated.

So here goes – Day 1 (again)Thursday 18/10/18!